Townsville has garnered back-to-back titles as Australia’s ‘Fuck Town of the Year’, so why are so many locals happy about the dubious award?
The satirical ‘Sh*t Towns of Australia’ Facebook page has crowned Townsville ‘Australia’s Sh*t Town Of The Year’ for 2022, repeating their ‘victory’ from 2021.
The ‘unofficial capital of North Queensland’ topped a poll voted on by the page’s 589,653 followers.
It received 30 per cent of all public votes, well ahead of the second-placed Sydney suburb Mount Druitt, Alice Springs and Port Pirie in South Australia.
The award came after followers of the page received a series of cutting comments about some of the strange behavior of Townsville criminals.
That includes an example of a man who was caught by police depositing “bags of drugs at an ATM.”
The man allegedly jammed an ATM with a deposit of another guy when he let a bag of drugs with his notes through.
But Townsville locals have taken the unenviable prize in stride, with some even reveling in the apparent insult, even suggesting it may keep unwanted tourists and outsiders out.
“I’m happy everyone thinks it’s crap here, so they won’t move it.” Our little secret, hello Townsville,” said a local.
Townsville locals have taken their unenviable title ‘Fucking Towns of Australia’ in stride, with some reveling in the apparent insult, even suggesting it may keep unwanted tourists and outsiders out.
Locals defended Townsville saying it is one of Australia’s best kept secrets. In the photo, the central business district of Townsville
Another follower teased the award with a photo of a stunning beach on idyllic Magnetic Island, which is a 40-minute ferry ride from Townsville.
‘as a resident [I] can confirm this decision; and photo attached as proof. Whatever you do, don’t move here,’ she joked.
Another local, Baz Tate, told Daily Mail Australia that Townsville is beset by its reputation for a high crime rate, but has great “natural beauty, stellar weather” and plenty of opportunity.
‘For me, my friends and co-workers, [Townsville] it is one of Australia’s best kept secrets, surrounded by natural gems for those willing to explore and full of kind, tough and generous people who love the city with a country town feel.’
‘You are surrounded by natural beauty. Reef, tropical jungle (30 km north) and natural swimming holes. But it still has the infrastructure of a city.
He said it’s also a city “where a 20-year-old can earn a six-figure salary.”
However, Townsville has had well-documented problems with crime, especially property crimes and stolen cars.
Just this month, insurer Budget Direct reported that Townsville had a higher rate of home burglaries over the Christmas period than any other Australian city.
S**t towns of Australia founder Geoff Rissole told Daily Mail Australia that “Townsville is special because it’s a hub of s***ness.”
“He seems to have some true hall of fame stories,” he said.
Townsville regularly topped the page’s weekly rankings during 2022.
The scathing yet hilarious ratings have become essential reading for thousands of Facebook users, thanks to their succinct and chaotic descriptions of local crime and various unsavory events in Australian cities.
In 2014, Townsville police seized 63 thug bags filled with illicit homemade alcohol hidden next to a local boat ramp after a nightly call and proudly posed with the loot.
Townsville is known for its great beaches and proximity to the Great Barrier Reef, but it has one major factor that makes people wary of the ocean: crocodiles.
Among the ‘hall of fame’ stories were ‘woman threatens to stab nurse and push RAT to taste her butt’ and ‘man who used inflatable sex doll as flotation device has to be rescued’.
Then there was the ‘guy who got his dick stuck in a mannequin’s head’ and the ‘grub s***s in the snorkel of a parked Landcruiser’.
‘Why would someone possibly do that?’ asked Mr. Rissole.
“It’s like a crazy TikTok thing gone wrong.
Townsville’s reputation for sometimes comedic hall of fame crime stories isn’t just limited to 2021 and 2022.
In 2014, Townsville police seized 63 thug bags filled with illicit homemade alcohol hidden next to a local boat ramp after a nightly tip.
The officers proudly posed with their haul of thug bags in a scene that stands in stark contrast to the more familiar mugshots of drugs, guns and hundreds of thousands in cash.
Sh*t Towns of Australia’s verdict on Townsville was not shared by everyone.
Travel writer Bruce Elder, who spent eight years ‘reviewing’ 1,322 Australian towns, called Townsville ‘It’s a city with a lot of charm and style’.
He said part of its appeal is that, unlike Cairns or Port Douglas, it hasn’t been overwhelmed by tourism.
Among its benefits, Elder wrote, is that visitors can see the Great Barrier Reef from land, which has “sleek buildings and old pubs that give it a sophisticated feel” and excellent restaurants.
Third-placed Alice Springs received 12 per cent of the vote in the race to decide Australia’s S*** City of the Year for 2022
Mount Druitt, Sydney’s western suburb (pictured above), came second in voting to decide S*** City of the Year for 2022
The notorious ‘brown crown’ award was surprisingly received by some locals on social media, at least by the followers of the popular page.
“And once again, we managed to take the Brown Crown two years in a row. Well done Townsville’ another woman wrote.
‘I currently live in Townsville, and I lived in Alice Springs for five years. I call Townsville, Alice Springs, by the beach. They are almost exactly the same place, one woman said.
‘Townsville is my home, and I’m beyond proud to join the crowd in congratulating us all on another shitty win. Looking good for 3 in a row.’
Another man joked that after the Cowboys were beaten in the 2022 preliminary finals, at least Townsville won something.
‘Since the cowboys can’t win anything, the locals decide to bring their own crown.’ he wrote.
Rissole, who also runs another Facebook page called ‘Sh*t Towns of New Zealand’, said Australians are much more lenient with his brutal criticism than New Zealanders.
‘In New Zealand, people say, how can you say this about our city? In Australia, a lot of people say you haven’t gone hard enough.’