REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni
I knew I would have to type these embarrassing words tonight. Even before an elderly “superfan” was dragged onto the Grammy stage and forced to say “Ha-Ha-Harry Styles” into a microphone by Trevor Noah. Even before Bonnie Raitt won Song of The Year for a ballad I’m sure the majority of the listening public has never heard. So let’s just get it over with: Beyoncé has once again lost the Grammy for Album of the Year. This time, to Harry Styles’ second-best album!
Listen… I’m not here to shit on Styles (at least, not too much), a man who makes good, sometimes great pop music and who impressively rose to prominence by auditioning for a televised talent show (inarguably the coolest route to fame). Harry’s House was a blockbuster record, and the song “Satellite” still causes me to astral-project on an emotional day. He earned himself the Billy Joel treatment with his historic 15-night run at Madison Square Garden. And as irrelevant as this fact may be, it was impossible to avoid this dude in pop culture over the past year (sometimes because of his music, and sometimes because of much sillier things).
Still, there’s no comparing Styles’ buoyant puppy-love tunes to the world-stopping, time-shifting phenomenon that was and still is Beyoncé’s Renaissance. Maybe I would be less embarrassed about Styles beating her (no, not really) if he hadn’t given one of the most underwhelming performances of the night when he struggled to get through his hit song “As It Was” like it was the national anthem. Or if he wasn’t totally boring and uncharismatic while giving speeches. Or if he didn’t say things like “this doesn’t happen to people like me” while picking up Album of the Year, which actually happens to cis, white men quite frequently!