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A woman has split opinion after asking if she should end a three-year relationship with her partner because of his messiness.
The anonymous woman shared the dilemma on the British forum Mumsnetdesperate for suggestions from fellow users on how best to tackle the problem.
Describing her partner’s living situation, she continued, “His 25% share of a single room is messy and dusty and the closets are full of c**p.”
She added that her boyfriend would rather watch TV than do chores, saying he has also become “old before his time” because of his friendship group.
The majority of commenters urged her to end things, saying she didn’t want to be stuck with a “man child,” while a handful encouraged her to have an honest conversation.
The anonymous woman shared the dilemma on UK forum Mumsnet, asking other users for advice (stock photo)
While outlining her problem, the mother – who lives with her two adult sons – explained how she has previously tried to encourage him to take better care of his living space.
She wrote, “I’ve been with my partner for almost three years.”
“He wants to move on and almost move in with me. I own my house outright and have two children in their twenties at home.”
Explaining that space was already at a premium in her household, the mom revealed that they all only share one bathroom and her sons’ girlfriends often spend the night.
As such, they’ve come up with a “roster” for using the shower – meaning she’s hesitant about anyone else moving in under their roof.
“To start with, it wasn’t too bad since his parents were visiting so it was cleaner, but sadly not anymore. I feel dirty in it,” she said of her partner’s home.
“I have made kind comments (about the dust and suggested trips to the dump) but they have fallen on deaf ears
“He’d rather watch TV than mop the floor or tackle a room.”
In addition, she says that her partner – who is a Freemason – also associates with older people because of his hobbies, which she has not delved into.
She added, “He’s grown old before his time.”
The woman outlined her dilemma and explained how she had tried to gently urge her partner to clean his space
She concluded the message by asking, “Any suggestions before I call and end it?”
The post has garnered dozens of responses — with the vast majority urging her to follow her instincts and call it quits.
One user replied, ‘I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t keep their living space clean. If he doesn’t do it now, he certainly won’t when you move in together. Don’t waste your time on this one’.
Another stated: ‘No suggestions other than to end it’
A third said: ‘Well, either you say something and are very, very blunt and you wait until you see consistent change before moving on, or you get another child to look after and have no help with day-to-day living . day of cleaning and tidying up.’
A fourth painted a bleak picture for the future, writing: ‘You will lose all respect for him and resent him. You will not be sexually attracted to him and eventually you will have to get rid of him after many years of misery and feeling taken for granted. I know which option I would follow’.
The post has garnered dozens of comments — with the vast majority urging her to follow her instincts and spend time on the relationship
Echoing this sentiment, someone added, “He’s lazy.” You would end up with another person to parent. You are unhappy in his ATM at home. Living together would mean being unhappy at home all the time or unhappy with everything.’
‘Do you go out on dates? Do you have fun together? What was the last night out/day out he arranged?’
One of them stated bluntly, “No suggestions. Just cut your losses and end it, you don’t need this man child in your life.”
A small group of users opposed the majority, suggesting ways for the two to live together in harmony.
Someone wrote, “I think you should be kind but honest and say, your house is dirty, you don’t clean, I don’t want you to move in with us, because keeping the house clean is enough work and I would like a net contributor, not a taker. He needs to hear it.’
After going through a similar situation, another added, “Keep living separately. Living together is NOT possible. It never gets better from experience. You can’t train him.’
Should I dump my boyfriend because of his messy house?