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Drew Sollenberger with three of his biological children
A 38-year-old asexual man from Maryland has fathered more than two dozen children and counting, without having sex.
Virgin Drew Sollenberger has been a prolific sperm donor for 16 years, resulting in 25 successful pregnancies for women across the country.
The software engineer realized that he was aromantic, meaning he experienced little or no romantic attraction to either gender, at about the age of 22.
Ironically though, he has always wanted to be a father ever since he was a teenager.
Her love for children began when her older sister got pregnant at 18 and she spent a couple of years helping take care of her nephew.
“I realized that he really loved children,” he told DailyMail.com. As soon as he could, he started volunteering with children.
‘My only real complaint was that the volunteering I had was more short-term. He would babysit a child for a day, he would be involved in this activity, and the child would go on with his life.
“It was fun, but I wasn’t sure it would have a long-term impact: the kids wouldn’t remember me.”
But his desire to be a father collided with his sexuality.
Sollenberger said: “I’ve just never dated anyone, never wanted to, never met anyone I was even remotely interested in, which I’m fine with, but that means no nuclear family, no getting to be a traditional parent.” And that bothered me.
“I spent half a year trying to tell myself, okay, I can still volunteer, it’s good enough, but it still bothered me.”
The 38-year-old man, from Maryland, realized he was a romantic, meaning he experienced little to no romantic attraction to either sex, at about the age of 22, but still desperately wanted to be a father.
Mr. Sollenberger considered adopting or paying for a surrogate but decided that surrogate was not an option because he said he donates all his money to charity.
He told DailyMail.com: ‘I could, but I won’t. That’s multiple lives that could be saved with that money; it’s not a good use of money.’
Then she came across the Known Donor Registry, a website that connects alternative families and infertile couples with sperm donors, and also joined the Sperm Donation USA Facebook group because “it’s what everyone else uses.”
She now has regular contact with eight of the children she helped conceive, seeing them about once a month to hang out at their houses or go to the beach.
‘Originally I wanted a lot of contact (with the children). I have withdrawn from it for various reasons.
Sollenberger said her motivation for donating has “completely” changed from “donating because I wanted to have children that I could have a relationship with to donating because women needed more committed donors.”
He also started asking for less contact because he realized the women were lying to him.
‘People will just lie to you and say they want contact when they don’t. So it’s better to tell them, I’ll give you the level you want, so you can tell me what you really want, rather than let me get my hopes up and then undo them over and over again.’
Sperm donation has been around for more than 60 years, with the first sperm banks opening in the 1960s. But prices have skyrocketed over the years, giving rise to an underground sperm market.
Sollenberger used to drive up to three hours to give his sperm in a cup to same-sex couples and heterosexual couples who couldn’t conceive naturally.
The fact that she is a virgin seems to work in her favor. She said that women, especially those with male partners, prefer to know that she is not having sex.
Mr. Sollenberger also has a YouTube channel where he gives advice to people who want to have children by donating sperm.
Sollenberger spoke to DailyMail.com after returning from a week with two of her biological daughters, whom she refers to as her “goddaughters”.
Of his children he is allowed to see, the eldest is nine years old, and the youngest is a year and a half.
He said: “Almost all the boys call me uncle, except for the two who call me godfather, which is pretty much the same relationship with a different name.”
Mr. Sollenberger is legally the caretaker of his children if both parents die for two families.
But overall, I’m the guy. I’m the fun guy who comes and plays with them, usually once a month. Some people have given me permission to visit more often, but I try not to visit more than once a month.’
“I try to put the recipients as the main reason to donate now.”
Sollenberger said her parents support her decision to donate.
“My dad has been surprisingly quiet about the whole thing, which surprises me. He is a pessimist at heart. The first thing he said was, “They’re only doing this for child support.” I told him we got contracts and he said, okay, so you’re done with that.’
She said her mother struggled at first with not being able to learn more about her biological grandchildren.
“I think it’s a bit of a culture shock (for my mom) to meet the interracial children of the lesbian couple whose mom is pro-trans rights and thinks BDSM is cool.”
Mr. Sollenberger has a ‘rule of thumb’ that he tries to instill in all of his children.
‘Someone should be allowed to do whatever makes them happy, as long as they’re not hurting someone. Even if you think it’s weird or bizarre.