Experts baffled as to what drove Lucy Letby to become Britain’s most prolific modern child killer – even after the killer nurse herself admitted she was ‘evil’ in confession notes

No one but Lucy Letby knows what drove her to kill and attack the premature babies in her care. Police have found nothing in his background or upbringing, or in any event that could have triggered his killing spree which began in June 2015.

Evidence that she grew lively and excited after the babies died, enjoyed the drama of the ER when the infants collapsed, and was quick to tell her colleagues in texts when something unusual and tragic had happened. produced during her shift, showed that she reveled in the attention, they said.

Letby was psychologically assessed and found fit to stand trial, but this desire to be at the center of a crisis could be a symptom of Munchausen syndrome, a mental disorder, a leading criminologist has told the Mail.

However, in the absence of a clear motive, Detective Superintendent Paul Hughes, who led the investigation for Cheshire Police, said he believed Letby’s ‘confession’ note provided the only explanation of why she had become Britain’s most prolific child killer in modern times.

“She clearly likes the attention, I think she liked the attention of a trial as well,” DS Hughes said.

“But if we look for why she did that, then to reuse her own words, ‘she’s evil and she did that. Without her telling us why, if we are looking for why, then she wrote it in this note. The green Post-it was discovered in his diary when police searched his home after his arrest in July 2018. It was titled: ‘NOT GOOD ENOUGH’.

As well as writing “I’M BAD, I DID IT” in all caps, Letby also scribbled, “There are no words.” I’m a horrible person – I pay for this everyday. I can not breathe. I can not concentrate. Kill me now. Overwhelming fear/panic. I will never have children or get married. I’ll never know what it’s like to have a family. HOPELESS.

‘I did not do anything wrong. The police investigation forgets slander. Discrimination. Victimization. Everything becomes too much, everything takes over my life. I hate myself so much for what this has. . . I feel very alone and scared. What does the future hold. How can I get out of this. How will things ever be the same. TO HATE. PANIC. FEAR. LOST. I don’t deserve to live. I DID THIS. WHY ME. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough for them and I’m a horrible evil person. I don’t deserve mom and dad. The world is better off without me.

Letby claimed the note was not a confession and that she wrote it after being pulled from the unit in July 2016 because she struggled to be blamed for something she didn’t. had not done.

But the prosecution urged the jury to read it ‘literally’ and Mr Hughes said he believed Letby deliberately left the note with the police. He said that in May 2017 she knew the police were investigating and, although she had a shredder at her home in Chester, she did not destroy the note, or dispose of other papers incriminating cases, nurse transfer sheets and medical documents. documents, which were found hidden under his bed.

“My guess is she wrote it down and left it for us to find,” Mr Hughes said. “She knew the police were investigating, she knew she had been moved and was therefore not a criminal suspect, but a community suspect.

“She knew that her colleagues had been contacted by the police.

“It was in the papers in May 2017 that Cheshire Police were investigating the circumstances of the neonatal death. She knew that at some point we would talk to her, so either recklessly or on purpose, she wrote it down to be found.

Mr Hughes said Letby was not stupid and speculated whether she left the notes because she wanted ‘notoriety’.

“She’s smart and articulate, she did well (as a nurse), she was good at what she did when she wanted to do it right,” he added. You could see it in the way she wrote her hospital records. Plus, you could tell how smart she was.

“Being able to mislead doctors into thinking a child was going to collapse, intentionally mislead smart doctors and colleagues. Did she want it (the note) to be found? Did she just want to write it or did she just want to tell the world that she was evil, and she did? Did she want the notoriety she has? Without telling us why, then the pattern was right in front of us for us to find.

Asked if he thought Letby had become a nurse to kill or if the profession had given her the chance to become a killer, Mr Hughes said: ‘I don’t think she went into nursing nurses to kill children, but nursing gave her the opportunity to be around the most vulnerable in society. Once she saw what happened and the attention she received, it ignited something inside her that she pursued. Criminologist David Wilson said Letby’s desire to be at the center of a crisis was indicative of Munchausen syndrome, a mental disorder. “She creates a crisis around her, which is a form of Munchausen’s,” he said.

“Extraordinary stories are told of what happens when she is in office. She says, “Look at everything that happens when I’m here. Mr Hughes said it was unclear exactly why Letby targeted certain children, other than to get the “opportunity”, possibly because she was alone with them as a staff nurse, or that their parents had temporarily choked to sleep or feed. But once she “chosen” a victim, there was a determination to hurt and kill, he said. The same children were attacked repeatedly. Some died, others were saved only when transferred to another hospital.

“(Once) she decided to attack a victim, she went back to the same victim,” he said. “So when she’s chosen, she’s determined to really try to kill them until she does or circumstances change and stop her. She controls. Once she decides to do it, if the result is not what she wanted, she tries again and again to do it, which comes back to her control and manipulation.

The officer acknowledged that she was a “monster” who not only killed her vulnerable victims, but also made them suffer. “Monster, it’s okay, because I can’t think of anything worse,” Mr Hughes added.

DCI Nicola Evans, the deputy lead investigator in the case, said it was “really difficult and challenging” not being able to tell the parents of Letby’s victims exactly why she attacked their babies.

“I couldn’t put my finger on her motive and ultimately only Lucy Letby can answer that,” DCI Evans said. “She had the opportunity during the trial and her interviews, and continually denied the offences.

“I’m of the opinion that she will continue to deny them, so we may never get that answer.” Our goal was to tell the families what happened and one of the things we couldn’t do was tell them why. As a policeman, it’s really difficult.

“On a human level, everyone is trying to figure out why and (says) there must be something in their past, or it happened to them, that led to these crimes. But I think that makes it more shocking, that we haven’t found anything that might point to a reason.

“I’m not sure anything explains these crimes and I’m not sure there’s anything we could have found that would lead me to understand why she did it because it is so unimaginable.”