I’ve discovered the new way men in relationships are secretly checking out other women, writes JANA HOCKING, but is it cheating?

Earlier this year, I was dating a guy known for having a wondering eye. As is always the case, I should have stayed away from the start because his red flag was his reputation.

But my girlfriend likes a challenge **sigh** and so I let my heart and kidneys race. I kept telling myself that everything was fine, that I don’t even like him that much. It’s just a fun distraction.

That was until I kept seeing him in my many girlfriends’ Instagram photos. Not just any girlfriends… my sexy girlfriends. And not just any photos… their thirst traps. If there was a bikini photo, you can be sure he liked it.

It wasn’t one or two, it was all of them. And it drove me crazy.

The annoying thing is that I was trying to be the “cool girl” who remains indifferent. I never said anything, but as time went on, the knife seemed to dig a little deeper into my heart. *Sarah posted a bikini photo and BOOM within minutes, “my old man” liked it.

I could feel the resentment building and I really didn’t like who I was becoming. I found myself paranoid that he was going to try it with one (or more) of them. I found myself getting annoyed every time they posted a gorgeous photo – which is so unfair. My daughters should be allowed to show off until they can’t show off anymore.

Now, full disclosure, I am aware that I have a tendency to get jealous and have been known to choose chaos over healthy conversation. But one day his actions reached a point of no return and it’s safe to say I really exploded.

It all started during a party where my girlfriends and I ran into him and his friends. We had a few cocktails beforehand and were all in good shape.

One of my friends is this ridiculously attractive, outgoing girl who will chat with anyone – and we love her for it. So when we ran into my man of the moment, she gave him a warm welcome and we all had a great time.

A week later, he and I met up for a fun evening. As we struck up a conversation, he casually said, “Oh, I messaged your friend on Instagram the other night.” Eh?

He said, “Yeah, she looked really drunk at your girls’ night out, so I wanted to see how she did the next day.” Again, can I repeat…huh?

For what? I said. We were with her and she was clearly taken care of.

I felt this thrill come over me. Because us girls know that when a guy slides into our DMs to ask how our night was, there’s usually a motive.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom because I needed a second to process this information. While I was there, I logged into my Instagram and went to his page. Sure enough, he had started following her and liking every photo she had posted over the past week.

Now here’s the annoying thing… technically he wasn’t cheating, but hey, I think it’s safe to say he was thirsty towards her.

As I mentioned, from time to time I tend to choose the path of chaos rather than maturity. So I went back, ordered a strong gin martini and decided to go out with him.

Oh my God, it was grim. He went deep into denial, which only annoyed me more, and I started to feel like I was acting paranoid and wondering if I was overreacting.

The next day I was hungover and confused. I quickly made an appointment with my fabulously tough French therapist and decided to unpack it with her.

She listened to me speak, then gave me a warm, reassuring smile and said, “No, I don’t think you’re paranoid; I think you had a strong reaction to something that had clearly been bubbling under the surface for quite a while.

She said that in all her years of working as a therapist, there is nothing more common that causes conflict between couples than social media. Further explaining that every day she is faced with women facing dilemmas very similar to mine.

I expressed that what bothered my brain the most was that he wasn’t technically cheating, but my gut was telling me he was up to no good.

She explained that of course all men have eyes and will be attracted to other women – it’s just human nature. But there’s a difference between just looking at another woman and publicly stating that you’re looking on social media.

I left his office with a feeling of relief. I wasn’t paranoid, and yeah, it’s pretty questionable that my guy still likes my friends’ thirst traps.

Needless to say, the relationship didn’t work out (surprise surprise) and I learned to trust my instincts more.

But this week, I discovered a new way for men to be bold while avoiding upsetting their partners.

Yes, it turns out that men are starting finstas (fake instas) to follow hot women on Instagram without their partner knowing.

I discovered it after being followed by a bunch of fake Instagram accounts and I couldn’t figure out why.

It wasn’t until I did a deep dive into these accounts that I discovered that they were all fake accounts created by men who clearly don’t want their partners to see that they are following other women.

Here is an example of one of them. As you can see, they don’t use a profile picture, have barely any followers, and if you look at who they follow, it seems like it’s all women!

This sneaky tactic allows guys to still get a cheeky peek at hotties while bypassing the whole “no, I don’t even follow her on Instagram” dilemma.

Now I’m about to throw in a little twist here…I don’t hate it.

You see, at least this way partners aren’t subjected to the pain of seeing their man crave other women…and no girl in her right mind is going to respond to a creepy message from a clearly fake Instagram. So I think it doesn’t do any harm.

Just like men watch porn when we’re not home (sorry ladies…it’s true.) I guess I have no problem with them looking at sexy girls on Instagram. Just don’t make a public statement by doing so on their own real profiles.

Still, oh, how I long for the caveman days, when the only drama we women faced was how to cook the wildebeest our man brought back to the cave for dinner. Not the hottie our man is currently lusting after. Can we go back to that time?