Photo Illustration by Thomas Levinson/The Daily Beast/Bravo
Now that the women of Real Housewives of New York have finally returned from their choleric trip to Anguilla—and have applied proper medical care to the third-degree verbal burns that left a trail of steam in their wake—everyone has a chance to breathe (including us viewers). I’m reluctant to say that their first international trip was exhausting, but it lacked the kind of mirth and childlike revelry that this cast has been supplying thus far this season. The closest thing we got to the absurdist joy we’ve come to expect was Jessel falling on her back after trying to shimmy under a limbo pole—and that’s not enough for a whole meal, let alone a light amuse-bouche.
But now that they’ve returned from the city whence they came, everyone is back in the groove that this season has nicely established. Jessel and Pavit are preparing their all-night fuckfest; Brynn is wearing funny hats and continuing her habit of frequenting odd shoppes (the “-ppes” is essential when it comes to Brynn); and Sai and Erin continue to be two of the most obnoxious humans in the tri-state area. Episode 12 of Season 14 is nothing we haven’t seen before, but when these women do ridiculous Real Housewives entertainment so well, why mess with a good thing? There’s even an appropriate amount of drama in the episode, which should satiate anyone still reeling from Anguilla. The episode is also a rallying cry for us Jessel Jaguars. Leave this poor woman alone and let her remove her chastity belt at whatever speed she pleases!
Once everyone gets a chance to catch their breath back in the city, Jenna and Brynn head out to Henrietta Hudson, one of like…two and a half lesbian bars in New York. (The half comes at 2 a.m. when the Dallas BBQ restaurant in Chelsea gets a little freaky.) Brynn has the energy of every other straight girl that I’ve ever brought to a gay bar: She’s both a kid in a candy store and a decorated anthropologist studying the rituals of an unfamiliar people. For what it’s worth, Brynn has never been specific about her sexuality—and she reads pretty fluid to me—but Jenna called her straight in a confessional, so I’m going with Miss Lyons on this one.