NBC
After making a nightmare of its Halloween-themed opening just days before Oct. 31st, Saturday Night Live took a more straightforward approach to this week’s cold open, which rehashed the most recent—and most unhinged—Republican debate. All of the night’s biggest moments were revisited: Nikki Haley (Heidi Gardner) calling Vivek Ramaswamy (Ego Nwodin) “scum”; Tim Scott (Devon Walker) proudly showing off his new girlfriend; Ron DeSantis (John Higgins) desperately attempting to smile like a normal human being; and Chris Christie (Molly Kearny) just being invited to play along once again.
But rather than just replay the events of Wednesday’s debate, James Austin Johnson’s Donald Trump crashed the party to trash talk each one of his Republican rivals. “How adorable,” Trump said of his fellow Republicans. “They actually think they’ve got a chance. Sad in some ways, but in other ways: funny.”
“Can you believe it folks? Ninety-one indictments, four trials, and I’m still the best choice,” Trump bragged, before picking apart each one of his presidential rivals—beginning with “poor Tim Scott,” who is just barely holding on with 1 percent of the vote. “Very low. Lower than, frankly, milk,” according to Trump. He also isn’t too impressed with the seeming lack of chemistry between Scott and his new girlfriend, who he says makes him and Melania “look like Taylor and Travis.”