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I know terror from the inside out, having survived two terrorist attacks. I developed breast cancer from being a first responder at 9/11 and was poisoned by an FSB agent while providing first-hand medical care to Chechens during the Second Chechen War.
My losses were great. I quickly went from a high-achieving psychiatrist—working a 10-hour day seeing patients and running 10 miles during my lunch break—to a sickly immunocompromised bed-ridden patient.
For many years I lived in a liminal space between life and death. But by containing my desire for revenge and focusing on healing, I eventually experienced a spiritual awakening that transported me from the isolation of illness to an expanded sense of interconnectedness that was essential to my recovery.