Elisa Ball and her roommate, John.
Courtesy of Elisa Ball
Elisa Ball bought a house in Palm Bay, Florida, with a former partner who’s now her best friend.Florida’s climbing rents were a driving force to split the costs of homeownership with someone else.She now has nearly double the space for almost half the cost and is happy with her decision.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Elisa Ball, a 67-year-old travel agent who bought a home in Palm Bay, Florida, with a former romantic partner in 2023. The conversation was edited for length and clarity.
I’ve owned many homes previously, but I sold everything in 2009. I truly didn’t plan on owning anything for the rest of my life.
I didn’t want the hassle because of unexpected expenses. I also own a travel agency, so I travel extensively. I could really live anywhere, anytime, so I didn’t want to tie myself down. I have family all across America.
My rental in Palm Beach County, Florida, increased dramatically from 2021 to 2023, and it almost became unaffordable for one person.
Initially, I was paying $1,450 a month for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom, about 1,300-square-foot condo. In 2022, I was paying $1,875 and my landlord was going to raise it $50 — he was only going to raise it $50 because he really liked me and wanted me to stay. Otherwise, he could have gotten several hundred dollars more. The average apartment then was going for about $2,200.
I didn’t like my apartment. I cried for a month when I moved in — and I don’t cry. I just wasn’t happy there.
I was romantically involved with a man, John, until 2009. I met him in 1996, and I lived with him from 1997 through 2009. We’ve been best friends since we decided to separate, and I would’ve walked away and never looked back.
But he said to me, “Elisa, we both don’t have children. We both don’t have parents. You have two brothers. I have two sisters. We hope to God we will never have to rely on either of them. Let’s make a pact to be there for one another.”
That’s why we’re still friends, like family, to this day.
I pay less for my share of the house and have more space
John fell sometime in 2022, and he lived in Daytona Beach, Florida. I was driving three hours constantly back and forth helping him.
He needed my help because of being physically challenged, and the only way to make that work would have been homeownership. So it made sense to look for a property that we could both pay equal to or less than what it cost living alone — and have that equity.
I began looking in Palm Beach County, and I couldn’t touch anything. It wasn’t because of the prices of the homes, it was because of the homeowners association fees. They ranged between $600 and $1,200 a month — and that, in addition to a mortgage, was not affordable.
For me, the first thing is budget. You must look at how much you can spend on a home. You have to start with finances, and then you look into everything else.
We had very specific things that the home had to hit in addition to the price. We looked in Jacksonville, Florida. We also looked in Ormond Beach, Florida, but unfortunately, that didn’t work — prices were too high. We looked in Melbourne, Florida, we looked in Palm Bay, we looked in Vero Beach. We also looked even further south in Stuart and Port St. Lucie. We couldn’t find pricing that worked for us.
We just kept looking.
The sunset in Palm Bay, Florida.
Brad McGinley Photography/Getty Images
Then we found something affordable in Palm Bay. It was listed at $325,000, and we offered $315,000, which they accepted. Because of some mortgage issues, it went to $325,000, but they kicked that $10,000 back to us.
We put a deposit down the first week in January, and we closed in February.
John is a veteran, so we thought we would be able to get a veteran mortgage. We still had to put down 17% because I’m not married to this person, nor am I a veteran. I didn’t know that before this journey.
Right now, we pay $2,100 and change a month. That includes the mortgage, the taxes on the house, and the insurance. You have HOA, which for us is $220 a quarter. It’s amazing because I would’ve been paying that for rent alone, and now we split it.
I can spoil myself a little more than I haven’t been able to for years and in an environment that I truly love to be in.
It’s a 2,200-square-foot home. Size-wise, it was exactly what we were looking for. It has four rooms. The front room was used as a TV room and became my office. Bedrooms one, two, and three are behind that. We took the wall out between two and three to make a bigger bedroom for me. And then built a big walk-in closet.
It has a dining room, a living room, a kitchen, and a breakfast nook. It’s huge.
The kitchen was updated, the bathrooms were updated. It was ready to move in other than a couple of tweaks. We spent an additional $10,000 or $15,000 on renovations.
I’m telling you, it’s a wonderful, wonderful home. It’s very easy to get around.
We took his living room and his kitchen set. He brought his own bedroom furniture, and I had my own office furniture, and the dining room was basically my furniture. So we were able to coordinate the furniture, too.
It’s important to have legal documents and protections in place — even if you trust the person you’re buying with
We had to clearly understand what both of us could afford to pay both as a mortgage and for living expenses. If you don’t clearly know the financial stability of the person you are partnering with, that could be dicey.
You have to protect yourself legally, and you need contracts because what happens if one of the partners wants to sell? Maybe they get a job in California, or they die. What happens? It’s a horrible thing when somebody has to worry about a roof over their head.
And what if they cannot afford to buy out the partner’s family or the partner? What do you do? So legally, everyone needs to protect themselves, otherwise it won’t work.
Ball was able to cut her monthly expenses almost in half by buying a home with her ex.
Courtesy of Elisa Ball
For us, we didn’t draw up any contracts because of our former relationship, and because we don’t have parents and we don’t have children.
Basically what’s mine is his, and what’s his is mine. So his other legal documents leave everything to me and vice versa.
We need to update wills. We never updated them since they were first written back 20-something years ago.
I’m very happy in the home. We have dogs, lovely neighbors, and a very well-kept community.
Buying a house with someone else is a wonderful thing — if it’s with the right person. If it’s with the wrong person, it’s a nightmare.