Louanne Ward Matchmaking: Are you dating a narcissist?

A leading relationship expert lists the red flags you’re dating a narcissist and explains how recognizing toxic traits early can save you years of heartache and miscommunication.

Luan Warda certified master matchmaker with more than two decades of experience, says that recognizing narcissistic traits in the early stages of dating can be difficult because everything seems “too good to be true.”

But she warns that what follows the honeymoon period can leave you confused and overwhelmed.

“Narcissistic personality disorder is a psychological condition characterized by grandiosity, an excessive need for attention and admiration, and an inability to empathize,” said the Perth expert.

While it is common for most people to be somewhat narcissistic with self-love and self-worth and in this age of selfies, likes, and comments, you can only imagine the impact narcissism has on our society.

“To help you date better and create a healthy connection, let’s take a deeper look at what you’re looking for so you can avoid falling for a narcissist.”

How do you spot a narcissist?

“NPD is characterized by inflated self-esteem, an intense desire for praise, and an inability to empathize with others,” Luan said.

She added that narcissistic individuals often have “a heightened sense of self-importance, a fixation on fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love, and a conviction that they are exceptional in some way.”

Common symptoms and features include:

A fragile sense of self-esteem that can easily be threatened by criticism or rejection

A need for constant attention and admiration

Lack of empathy for others

Extremely critical of others and quick to point out our own shortcomings

A tendency to exploit others for personal gain

Envy and jealous behavior

Gaslighting with an inability to accept blame

They are insecure and overly sensitive to criticism

What are the early warning signs of a narcissist?

Luan says the first sign you spot a narcissist is noticing a pattern of abuse.

“This narcissistic cycle of abuse is one of the most troubling aspects of narcissistic personality disorder in relationships, and it usually has four stages: idealization, devaluation, ostracism, and fabrication,” she said.

If you’ve ever had a whirlwind romance with someone who seemed too good to be true and then suddenly turned toxic chances are, you’ve experienced this cycle of abuse.

Often At first they shower you with love, attention, and gifts, making you feel like the most important person on the planet but sooner or later their behavior starts to shift.

“They become overly critical, manipulative, and emotionally abusive, leaving you confused and hurt,” she warns.

If you’ve experienced this, you’ve seen the early warning signs of a narcissist firsthand.

What are the signs of narcissism in men?

Luan says that while both sexes can display similar characteristics, there are some important differences in how narcissism affects men and women.

1. Narcissistic men may feel entitled to be in charge, to be admired, and to be showered with praise. In their arrogance, they may think they deserve special treatment.

2. Male narcissists may have trouble empathizing with and caring about the feelings of those around them. They are likely to be so self-absorbed that they don’t notice when their partner or those around them are struggling.

3. Narcissistic men can have an inflated opinion of themselves. Men with this trait may overestimate their abilities or accomplishments and constantly seek approval and praise from others around them.

4. It is not uncommon for narcissistic men to be aggressive or aggressive in their relationships. They can become defensive or upset when their activities are criticized, and they may act physically if they feel threatened.

5. Narcissistic men may be unable to admit when they are wrong. They may shift blame or make excuses when asked about their actions and may become defensive or dismissive when their behavior is challenged.

What are the signs of narcissism in women?

1. A narcissistic woman may spend hours every day improving her physical appearance with the help of cosmetics, hair styling, and the latest fashion. It’s possible that she’s been preoccupied with looking her best at all times, which means she’s constantly thinking about how to improve her appearance.

2. A narcissistic woman’s need for the approval and praise of others may push her to extremism. You may tend to talk to others, interrupt them, and ignore their opinions.

3. The female narcissist may take advantage of her attractiveness and attractiveness to get her way. You may lie, manipulate, exaggerate, or otherwise deceive others to get what you want.

4. Narcissistic women are prone to envy and jealousy, especially when they see other women as more beautiful, successful, or likable than themselves. Feelings of envy and resentment can develop towards them as a result of their success.

5. They play the role of the martyr or the victim, and everything they went through is painful and more difficult, and they have suffered more.

“It’s important to note that not all men and women with narcissistic traits will display these behaviors, and there is a wide range of narcissistic behavior that can affect people of any gender,” Luan said.

“Understanding the differences between narcissistic men and narcissistic women, on the other hand, can help us understand and address the specific challenges each gender may face when dealing with this personality disorder.”

If you or someone you know needs support in a dangerous, violent, abusive or potentially abusive situation, contact The National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counseling Line For free and confidential telephone and online service.

Phone: 1800RESPECT, or 1-800-737-732, available 24/7.