Vicky Pattison is candid about her father’s struggles with alcoholism, as well as her own, revealing her fear of falling into the same trap.
The former Geordie Shore star, 34, was known for binge drinking and wild nights on the reality show, sharing that looking back she has been “mortified” and was “never a nice drunk.”
Vicky also recalled contemplating suicide during her stint on the show, with the humiliation over.
Opening: Vicky Pattison, 34, has revealed her fears of following in the direction of her alcoholic father… as she recalls contemplating suicide while appearing on the rowdy Geordie Shore
Talking candidly with The timesshe explained that she had grown up with an alcoholic father and that binge drinking in her childhood was much harder for her than for her party-loving counterparts.
She shares that her father, John, who is now in remission, has had two heart attacks, a stroke and oral cancer – Vicky also remembers being used as a ‘human walking stick’ while supporting him home from a party.
She said, “I always begged Dad to stop. He’s tried rehab, AA. He would be hospitalized for dehydration, but he would start again.
Struggle: Shares that her father, John (pictured center), who is now in remission, has had two heart attacks, a stroke and oral cancer – Vicky also remembers being used as a ‘human walking stick’ as she drove him home supported by a party
Rowdy: She joined the outrageous cast of Geordie Shore in 2011, when she was only 22, admitting she was “unable to stop after a few drinks” like others did, putting her in dangerous situations (pictured on the show)
“The boys didn’t want to knock on my door because daddy could be scary. I didn’t want to be like him. But in some ways I’ve been just like him,” explains Vicky.
She joined the outrageous cast of Geordie Shore in 2011, when she was only 22, admitting she was “unable to stop after a few drinks” like others did, putting her in dangerous situations.
“A lot of people on the show had a really good time and got funny and silly and then stopped. I never was. I don’t have an off switch and I was never a nice drunk.
No off button: “A lot of people on the show had a really good time and got funny and stupid and then stopped. I never was. I don’t have a power switch and I was never a nice drunk (LR) Back row: Greg Lake, Jay Gardner, Gaz Beadle, James Tindle / Front row: Charlotte Crosby, Vicky Pattison, Holly Hagan and Sophie Kasaei
Vicky continued: ‘I drank too much and drank dangerous amounts’ (pictured with Holly Hagan and Ricci Guarnaccio in 2012)
‘You get sloppy drunks, howling drunks, aggressive drunks – I wash them all. I never wanted the party to stop, but I would scream, combatively. I drank too much and drank dangerous amounts,” she told the publication.
The influencer now struggles to watch old scenes of her on the show, admits she wasn’t herself and felt the need to play the party girl character.
Vicky has previously opened up about considering suicide after she was arrested in 2013, writing that “I had lost everything I had before me and didn’t want to live anymore” in her 2014 book Nothing But The Truth.
The suicidal feelings came after she was indicted on two charges of drunkenly throwing a shoe at a woman in a bar – injuring all parties involved.
Hurt: She admits she was ‘mortified’ watching scenes from Geordie Shore, unsure if she ‘blocked them or can’t remember them because of the drink’ (pictured in the show)
Depression: Vicky has previously opened up about considering suicide after being arrested in 2013, writing that ‘I had lost everything I had in front of me and didn’t want to live anymore’ in her 2014 book Nothing But The Truth
Vicky was ordered to perform 180 hours of community service and pay compensation to the woman and a staff member who were caught in the crossfire.
She explained to The Times that both her sister and a friend helped her through the times, and has been in therapy ever since.
Appearing on Loose Women in 2016, Vicky admitted she didn’t want kids and that they’re “not for everyone,” before later telling the Daily Star that kids are “sitting on my t**s.”
But Vicky made the decision to freeze her eggs earlier this year because she hopes to have children with fiancé Ercan Ramadan and has now revealed the real reason she didn’t want to be a mother.
‘Don’t see it’: Appearing on Loose Women in 2016, Vicky admitted she didn’t want kids and that they’re ‘not for everyone’, before later telling the Daily Star that kids are ‘on my t**s’.
Change of heart: But Vicky made the decision to freeze her eggs earlier this year because she hopes to have children with fiancé Ercan Ramadan
She admitted that she was afraid that addiction was too genetic, explaining, “The real reason was that I had all my father’s problems and lockups and addictions, and I was so afraid that my kids would end up like me: broken.”
While she also describes that a few years ago it was unthinkable for her not to be able to drink during pregnancy, but now easier to imagine.
Vicky takes a closer look at her past and family in her new Channel 4 documentary My Dad, Alcohol and Me.
For help and confidential support regarding anything in this story, call the Samaritans at 116123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org/
Taking the plunge: Admitting the real reason she didn’t want kids before, she explained: “The real reason was because I had all my dad’s problems, lockups and addictions, and I was so scared my kids would end up like me: broken.” ‘