Lucy Letby: Killer nurse wrote notes confessing ‘I am evil, I did this’ after murdering babies

Lucy Letby wrote a ‘confession’ in which she describes herself as a ‘horribly bad person’ and says, ‘I DID THIS’.

The note was discovered in her diary by police during a raid on her home after her arrest.

On the green post-it note, found in a 2016 diary in her bedroom, she wrote, “I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough.” I will never have children, I will never get married, and I will never know what it is to have a family.

Other strange and chaotic writings were also found in her purse and garage.

She insisted that the green note was not proof that she had killed and harmed the children, but that she had written it while she was mentally “fighting” because she thought that she could have made mistakes at work and accidentally hurt the babies.

But the jury rejected his claims and agreed with the prosecution that it should be read “literally”.

Last night handwriting expert Adam Brand, who analyzed Letby’s notes for the Mail, said her writing style was evidence of a ‘manipulative and dishonest’ individual.

Other characteristics of her handwriting, however, indicated that she could also be “charming” and “kind” at the same time, he said.

Mr Brand said Letby was a fascinating case because her writing style exhibited traits of antisocial behavior disorder – impulsiveness, dishonesty, rejection of discipline and manipulation – while showing that she was capable of “ integrate” into society and make friends.

He said the 2016 handwriting in Letby’s diary, which was recovered by police, was ordered and appeared to have been written by someone in control. But it was in stark contrast to the other colored notes, all of which were shown to the jury and seemed much more chaotic and disturbed.

“Her writing shows that she is a lovely person who can do terrible things,” he said.

Mr Brand compared Letby to Jeffrey Dahmer, the American serial killer who murdered and dismembered 17 men over 13 years in Milwaukee, US.

“He’s been described as a built-in antisocial and I see it that way,” he said. “He’s someone who can sometimes be very friendly, sometimes manipulative, secretive and cold.”

Mr. Brand pointed to several “disturbances” in his writing style.

The way she wrote HATE, PANIC, FEAR, LOST on the green “I am evil” note could be seen as attention seeking, it suggested she wanted to be listened to and not ignored, he said. declared.

While the “continuous loops” on the yellow note and the repetition of her name or signature on the white A4 note, both showed she was obsessive, Mr Brand said.

The way his writing does not slant one way or the other – it does not consistently slant right or left but has a variable slant – and sometimes “suddenly” changes direction in the middle of a word, is highly unusual and demonstrates she suffered “horrible” mood swings and struggled to fit in on a team, Mr Brand said.

“Mood swings show up as sudden tilt changes, you go from left tilt to right tilt,” Brand said.

“It’s a clear mood shift, you can feel that emotion shift, it’s very quick when it’s in a word itself.”

The inconsistency in the height of her letters also suggests she has self-esteem issues, while the “brackets” at the start of vowels symbolize escape, Mr Brand said.

The shaded boxes and grid doodles also signified pent-up anger and that she felt trapped, he added. The anger was also evident in the slashes she used instead of dots to “point her i’s”, he said.

While the “overlapping” of words and phrases symbolized an inability to plan or think clearly, Mr Brand added.

Referring to the back of one of the yellow notes, Mr Brand said: “If you look at the scribble that’s going on, it’s quite remarkable.” Incredibly heavy, we see anger, anxiety, stress. Another thing you see is the constant circle – there is a compulsion in the writing, this compulsion that you see in another of the sheets where his name is constantly written, everywhere.

“It’s full of repetitions and constraints, which means there are disruptions.

“The trapped feeling of the squares, the anxiety of it, the compulsion of the circles, the lines overlapping, very unclear thinking. No margin so you can see that person is intrusive, you don’t have you don’t even have to look at the content, from a graphological point of view these things hit you, it says ‘there are problems here’.

Other features of her writing style demonstrated her dishonest personality traits, Mr. Brand said. “The other issue that stands out strongly is that his writing is dishonest,” he added. ‘Letters that look like other letters and missing letters in the words themselves. ‘b’ which have an open bottom and look more like ‘h’ – that’s the symbolism, it says, ‘I can’t be bothered.’

“Then there are tiny little movements, which are slightly disturbing. Like a ‘shark tooth’, which occurs when you have an ‘m’ where the final stroke is a ‘c’ shape, it’s something ‘one capable of manipulating, abusing and using people.’ The other is known as the ‘e-spoon’, this is again an ability to manipulate and use people.

“His connecting shapes – the way you link the letters together – are all so inconsistent.”

Letby’s thread, or the way she joins the letters, indicates the cunning, while the angle of her writing suggests someone who might be cold and persistent,” Mr Brand added.

The arch or bridge of her letters, such as the way she writes an “m,” also indicates secrecy or intrigue, he said.

But the “garlands” or “bowls” of her handwriting, found in the “ws” and “l’s,” indicated she could be both lazy but also kind, he added.

“Here we have someone who can sometimes be very friendly, attractive and cooperative, at other times she is scheming, secretive, sometimes very cold and at other times quite persistent,” Mr. Brand.