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Every woman my age (I’m in my 50s) is aware of the cleansing fad, championed most visibly by the brilliance of Gwyneth Paltrow, who drinks bone broth and says her life’s purpose is to support its detox, as if the detox was a poor little rescue donkey.
I lean toward the “love what you eat, eat what you like” system but I’m willing to try anything to stave off the inevitable. So an invitation to “Sea-Tox” (it’s both a noun and a verb), on an unspoilt Croatian island in the Adriatic, seemed hopeful. I’ve never met a spa treatment that I didn’t want to last forever. And I was told that the air of this island had magical properties, thanks to its geographical location, its flora and its climate. I would lose weight, sleep like a dream, and never feel what doctors call TATT (tired all the time).
As my dream is to live by the sea and swim every day, I was there.
But let’s start at the beginning: the 3 a.m. wake-up call for the 6 a.m. Easyjet flight to Rijeka, a northern Adriatic port city I’d never heard of. There are other ways to do this, but I was assured that this was the best. A sign in the arrivals hall welcomed me to “the healing garden of Europe,” which was promising because I felt half dead.
From Rijeka Airport, you’ll head to a ferry that will take you to an island called Losinj (pronounced losshin), declared a climate healing resort by the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Indeed – as I was constantly told – the entire island is an outdoor spa. For what? Well, every breath of humid, salty, mineral-rich sea air, scented with jasmine, pine, sage, myrtle and rosemary, is manna for your lungs. And since we take around 20,000 breaths a day, it is claimed that just five nights of sleep in Losinj with the window open will help alleviate illnesses ranging from asthma to hypertension.
From Rijeka Airport, you’ll head to a ferry that will take you to an island called Losinj (pronounced losshin), declared a climate healing resort by the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
The nine-hour journey from my front door was well worth it when we arrived at the modern and airy Bellevue Hotel in Cikat Bay, with its herb gardens, treeline on a deep blue sky and its beautiful view: light turquoise. Wed. This place seemed to invite me to relax as soon as I had lunch on a sunny terrace overlooking the Adriatic.
The creator of the Sea-Tox program is a stunning blonde wellness guru named Melissa Mettler, who told me over grilled fish and vegetables that I packed at least seven days of activities and treatments into four.
She explained that Losinj’s reputation as a healing island dates back to the 19th century, when a man called Ambroz Haracic established that this place was intended to spread what the Galapagos Islands are for wildlife. There is a high concentration of humidity and minerals in the air, enhanced by the scents and oils of the Aleppo pines, whose canopy forms a lid over this airy cocktail of natural goodness, as well as olive trees, junipers and tamarisks. There are 1,200 species of wild herbs on the island, many of which are medicinal.
My Sea-Tox started with an analysis in a medi-spa, which lasted only a few seconds. By standing on a high-tech scale and gripping the handles, the machine somehow took measurements of the extremities of my body regarding fat, muscle, and skeletal mass. I am within the normal range but my waistline – ladies of a certain age can understand this – has practically disappeared and at 78 cm, I was only two centimeters short of being in the danger zone of diabetes, seizures heart disease and stroke.
“Women with a waist circumference greater than 80 cm and men with a waist circumference of 94 cm have an increased risk,” the young woman in a white coat and glasses explained to me. My total body water was also slightly low (normal levels are 50 to 55 percent for women), which reminded me to keep my fluids topped up.
After my checks, I went straight to the treatment room for a Sea-Tox massage with essential oils produced on the island in special stills from local pine trees and herbs.
Second day, the wellness momentum really accelerated: a hike from the top of the island to a cove where we did lymphatic drainage exercises in a clear sea, a shade cooler than the temperature of the body. After lunch, further treatments consisted of a variation of massages, with cupping and rollers for added well-being.
The four days passed in a blur of activities, treatments and meals. Cryotherapy (three minutes in a coffin filled with dry ice) provided the best effect ever. Cold water immersion – fill a hot tub with ice and sit in it, Wim Hof style, for at least three minutes. It was so busy that I never opened my book and almost groaned at the sight of the massage bed and the sound of the tinkling music.
Losinj’s reputation as a healing island dates back to the 19th century, when a man called Ambroz Haracic established that the place was intended to spread what the Galápagos Islands are to wildlife.
The creator of the Sea-Tox program is a stunning blonde wellness guru called Melissa Mettler, pictured
What about meals, I hear you ask?
The official Sea-Tox diet was low in carbs and sugar, but I was allowed to have whatever I wanted: cocktails, wine, pudding, bread. It is up to the patient to resist temptation. Which I didn’t do.
EVERY POINT OF HUMID, SALTY, MINERAL-RICH SEA AIR IS MANNA FOR YOUR LUNGS
After four days, I felt full of health, vitality and energy. I slept soundly with the windows wide open, swam every day and never felt hungry. But – full disclosure – it was because I had eaten my weight in grilled fish and vegetables and, after two nights, I moved to the nearby Alhambra Hotel to continue the Sea-Tox. Unfortunately, the restaurant has one Michelin star there and it would have been a crime not to try everything on the tasting and signature menus, including the wine and pudding pairings. So I did. However, my Sea-Tox was so effective in terms of rest and sleep that I didn’t want to retox as soon as I returned to Gatwick.
I was too greedy to lose weight, but if I had followed the 500 calorie a day diet for a week or a full fortnight (it starts with supergreens and ends with bone broth and nothing else between the two, other than something called psyllium) tea to cleanse the colon), I’m sure I would have lost several pounds. And probably a decade from my face.
A room at the Bellevue Hotel starts from around £235 per night; a three-day Mini Sea-Tox starts from around £515; losinj-hotels.com