Todd Owyoung/NBC
“Siri, what is a ‘gooch’?” I already knew the answer to this question when I asked my faithful Apple assistant, in the same sort of way that you intrinsically know what the balance in your checking account is going to be the morning after a night out. Still, I had to know for sure. It is, after all, my job to report the facts when I’m not offering my opinions (which is most of the time), and the facts are as follows: “Gooch” is slang for “guy cooch,” and Succession star Brian Cox brought his gooch to his recent appearance on The Tonight Show in stunning fashion.
If you have not yet seen the photo I’m about to show you, hold onto whatever stable surface is closest to you and make sure there are no sharp edges that you might bonk yourself on if you go down, because I’m about to rock your world.
When I first laid my sleepy blue eyes upon this Library of Alexandria-worthy photograph, I had multiple conclusions. The first was that this was irrefutable proof that AI has gone too far. But that was before I realized that this picture is not the work of some demonic image generator, but rather a real photo of the esteemed Scottish actor Brian Cox, fearlessly sporting some camel-colored, presumably pleather capri pants. My second conclusion was that, while I am not and probably never will be a Succession fan (we’ve been over this; don’t tell me to try one more episode!), I am coming out as a fan of Brian Cox.