WhatsNew2Day – Latest News And Breaking Headlines
A man has been branded with a ‘fragile ego’ after insisting his stepdaughter should let him walk him down the aisle on her wedding day instead of her mother.
On Reddit, the bride’s mother, who appears to be from the US, explained this to her partner argued that he should be “respected and honored for his contribution” to her children’s lives.
The mother of two explained that her children’s biological father died when they were just six and eight, and she remarried four years later.
However, many rushed to the comments to defend the bride’s decision, wondering why the stepfather feels “more entitled” to the honor than her own mother.
The post asked, “Am I the asshole for accepting my daughter’s request to walk her down the aisle and fill in for a mother/daughter dance at her wedding when my husband has been her stepfather since she was? 10?’
On Reddit, the bride’s mother, who appears to be from the US, explained that her daughter asked her to walk her down the aisle (stock image)
It read: “I lost my first husband when our children were six and eight years old. Four years later I remarried.
‘I met my husband a year after losing my late husband, we were friends for several months, dated some, stronger feelings developed and I introduced him to the kids to see how they would get along, we stopped for a year while my children and I did some therapy because their reaction to my husband was strongly negative, not wanting to replace their father. But once therapy got underway, they got better.
“Things sped up from there, but the kids were on board to move forward. However, they were clear that my husband would not fulfill the role of father in their lives. My husband said that was fine with him, as long as he was respected and they could work towards a caring family.
“(My daughter) and I were always close, but she was a real daddy’s girl. The loss of her father was extremely difficult for her. She has built up a nice relationship with my husband, but it doesn’t come close to the bond she had with her father.
‘From the time I was 12, she and I became much closer. I think my parenting style and my willingness to talk about her father, even after I remarried, made me someone she felt she could open up to.
“She was 15 when she told me that if she ever got married, she would want me to walk her down the aisle and we would do a mother-daughter dance instead of a father-daughter dance.
‘I told her we could dance to the song her father used to sing to her. She said she loved the idea. Even though she seemed to mean it, I always assumed things would change as she got older.
‘I thought she would choose to walk alone, with her brother as a representation of her father and their close relationship, but also because of society’s expectation that a man would do that, or with her husband.
The mother of two explained that her children’s biological father died when they were just six and eight, and she remarried four years later.
‘But when she got engaged three weeks ago, she immediately asked me. She brought up our previous conversation and told me she wanted exactly that. I told her I would be honored. We cried tears of joy together. I told her her father would be so proud.
“My husband took the news in a way I didn’t expect. His first question was if I suggested she ask us both, and I said no.
She continued, “Then he asked if she had ever thought about asking him and I said I couldn’t answer that for her. He asked me if I was thinking of him when I said yes. He asked if I had thought about everything he has done for (my daughter), for both children, and the fact that all these years later he is still not considered a father figure.
‘I told him I wasn’t thinking about him when he was asked because I was overjoyed. He told me that I should have paid a lot more attention to him and that I should have tried to compromise with my daughter.
‘I thought he would change his position, but now, three weeks later, he feels I was wrong. He told me he felt he deserved more from all of us, but especially me. He said I’m his wife. I should work to ensure that he is respected and honored for his contribution to the children’s lives. AITA?’
People rushed to the comments to claim that the stepfather should respect the bride’s wishes, while others said he is an “entitled stepparent.”
People rushed to the comments to claim that the stepfather should respect the bride’s wishes, while others said he is an “entitled stepparent.”
One person said, “NTA, your husband should respect your daughter’s wishes. Although I wonder: does he feel entitled because he is the stepfather or is he contributing financially to the wedding?
“If it’s the latter, maybe that’s why he feels that way? Either way, it’s your daughter’s decision.”
Another said: ‘Exactly! Why does he feel entitled to make this joyful moment about him? Why doesn’t he go to OP’s daughter and ask all this since she is the one making this decision. OP NTA refer your husband to your daughter and don’t feel bad about it at all!’
Someone else wrote: ‘Your husband needs to learn that respect is a two-way street. He can’t just arbitrarily demand that you and your daughter accommodate his fragile ego and respect his wishes, while he is completely willing to disrespect your daughter’s wishes.
Others felt sorry for the stepfather, with some saying he sounded more hurt than ‘entitled’
“For him to say it’s your duty to make sure he’s respected is laughable. If you want respect, it is your duty to earn it.”
Others felt sorry for the stepfather, with some saying he sounded more hurt than “entitled.”
One person said: ‘I don’t think he feels entitled to it. It’s that he feels hurt. It hurts that he’s probably just realized that the child he’s raised since he was 10 will never see him as a parent, even if he sees her as a daughter.”
Another said: ‘I believe OP is NTA and the stepdad is wrong for challenging the daughter about it, but I don’t think he’s wrong for feeling that way, he’s wrong for acting on it and making an AH about it is.
“You may feel emotions that would make you an AH if you acted on them, but feeling the emotions is not necessarily a bad thing in itself.”
Another wrote: ‘Yes, I don’t think it’s unusual for him to think that what she said at age 10 might have changed 14 years later after he helped raise her.’