Mykhaylo Fridlyand and his girlfriend, Kristina, in Colorado.
Courtesy of Mykhaylo Fridlyand
Mykhaylo Fridlyand was on vacation when he heard Russia invaded Ukraine, his home country, in 2022.He and his girlfriend decided not to return and spent some time in Greece before moving to the US.Now they own a small business in Colorado and have built a life for themselves. They plan to stay.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Mykhaylo Fridlyand, 43, who left Ukraine to move to Colorado. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
When Russia invaded Ukraine in March 2022, I was snowboarding in Andorra with my girlfriend, Kristina. We got wind of what was happening from the news and our friends back home. Zaporizhzhya, where we lived, had been invaded and occupied by Russia.
Everyone we knew told us not to return home. I had built a brand-new house before the war, and Kristina and I had only lived in it for four months, but we left it behind.
A friend offered us their house in Greece, so we stayed there for a few months. Things in Ukraine continued to get worse, and going back looked less and less likely.
Staying in Greece wasn’t a long-term solution
I didn’t speak the language in Greece and needed to start making money. My savings were running low. I’d been an architect for 20 years in Ukraine. Kristina had her own design studio that she left behind.
We decided we wanted to move to a place where we knew the language and had an understanding of the culture. Though we had never been to the United States before, we made the joint decision to uproot our lives and move to America.
I feel comfortable with American culture
I grew up familiar with the music, the actors, and the movies in American culture. I was always fascinated with the traditions and styles of American people and was even inspired to buy a Dodge Ram truck a few years ago, which I ended up leaving in Ukraine. Because I understood the way of life here and could speak the language, it made coming here feel more comfortable.
Fridlyand’s truck he left behind in Ukraine.
Courtesy of Mykhaylo Fridlyand
We sought entry to the United States through Mexico. We flew to Mexico on our own dime. We were then allowed to enter America and live here through a humanitarian program for Ukrainians fleeing the country.
I knew one person in the United States who had moved from Ukraine years ago. He lived in Miami and said Kristina and I could live with him for a few months.
When we arrived in April 2022, I had just the clothes in my suitcase and around $300.
We moved to Colorado in search of new work and money
Fridlyand and Kristina in Colorado.
Courtesy of Mykhaylo Fridlyand
My friend in Miami worked in the construction industry and heard that a Colorado town called Aurora was booming with new homes. He got word that there would be a lot of work for us there, so we moved. He allowed us to live with him there until I started to make money.
A local social-service nonprofit in Colorado connected us with resources and gave me an allowance to help me get on my feet.
I don’t have an architect license here, so I used the hands-on skills I had to do construction and handyman work. I helped build things like decks and put walls up in houses.
Once we settled in, I started to brainstorm what other type of work I could do and decided to go with wallpaper and accent-wall painting, since I had experience doing it.
My girlfriend and I started a company together, created a website, researched search-engine optimization, invested in Google ads, and marketed my services. I was able to start booking a steady flow of clients who then referred my services to neighbors and friends.
Our small business now brings in enough money to pay my monthly expenses, including an apartment my girlfriend and I rent.
I miss my family and friends but don’t want to go back to Ukraine
Starting over has been the biggest challenge of my life. In Ukraine, I worked very hard because it was my passion and made me a good living. I owned a couple of houses, boats, and cars. All of those are still there and used by my family members.
I thought about going back to Ukraine and joining the army, but a friend who is in the military there advised me not to because my background as an architect wouldn’t transfer well in the war.
I often think about the pain of having to start over and the people I love who are still there living in constant danger. I have not seen them since leaving. Every day, I wake up and check the news to see what towns and cities in Ukraine are getting attacked. Then I write to friends or family to see if they are OK. One of my friends who was in the military has died. I’m constantly nervous about my loved ones who are still there.
Even though I miss them, I’m not in a rush to return to Ukraine. I found that people were more judgmental there. I keep my hair long and wear earrings, and people would often ask me about my sexual orientation because of how I looked. I don’t find people there to be as open and welcoming as people here in the US.
What I did was scary, but I wish more people considered doing it
A lot of my friends and family are too scared to leave Ukraine, and they don’t want to start over. I wish they knew that their new lives could be better than the life that they are living now, especially since living in Ukraine is still very dangerous.
My motto throughout this journey has been to never give up. After living in Aurora for almost two years, my girlfriend and I are very happy here, and we both want to stay in America.